Becoming Wise

I have just finished another book from the Janes Agenda Masterplan Book Club. It was called Thrive, by Arianna Huffington. I honestly had a hate-love relationship with this book. First of all (completely unrelated to the actual content of the book) - I started reading this book on the airplane the last time I flew to Vancouver and I hate flying, so now this book reminds me of something I detest).

Secondly, there were chapters that I loved and found super easy to read and other chapters I found really hard to get through. The chapter on death made me cry, but the chapter on wisdom gave me the inspiration to write this blog.

What is wisdom? The proper definition of wisdom is the quality of having experience, knowledge and good judgement. I think this is the general rule when we think of wisdom. Our grandparents must be wise because they have lived longer and must have accumulated more experience along their life journey. And yet, there are people I know that might be older than me, but seem to have no common sense whatsoever.

In her book, Thrive, Arianna describes wisdom as something you have when you decide to listen to your intuition. So what is intuition? It’s something that we know or feel from instinctual feeling as opposed to conscious reasoning.

I have to ask myself how many times I’ve struggled with the decision to make a decision based on reasoning with my brain as opposed to my feeling-based intuition. This may be different for you, but my intuition is a gut feeling for me, but it’s also sometimes a voice. It sounds like my voice, and it seems to come from within me and at the same time outside of me. (Keep in mind, I am a spiritual person, but I do not believe in organized religion).

So why the struggle? It’s because my brain is telling me to listen to logic, but my gut feeling is pulling me in a different direction. When they are both in alignment, there is no struggle. When I am at a crossroads, I examine the situation really closely and then I usually sleep on it.

“ When in doubt, my dear fellow, do nothing”

-Leo Tolstoy

I’ll give you an example that I run into. It’s a planner girl issue, but it’s still relatable to a lot of my viewers. If I want to make a purchase on something, I always let myself have time to think about it before I commit to anything. First, I have to see if the item is within budget. If it’s something I can manage, but I know I don’t need, I sleep on it for a few nights.

If it’s a really big purchase, I’ll usually take a month to decide. If I have a problem, or something big comes up in my life, I’ll take time to think about it. Sometimes I’ll journal about it and write out a pros and cons list. I weigh all the possible outcomes. especially if the outcome could have a large effect on my kids or other family members.

Note here that I talk about thinking and journaling. For me, these things are conducted from a place of solitude. This means sitting quietly, spending time alone with my thoughts. Sometimes I’ll come to conclusions, or sometimes I’ll just come up with more questions.

The trick, I find, is to have separate sessions of solitude and thinking time. I’ll give myself an hour or two, and then move on to something else. This time gives my head a break - a distraction so to speak. Sometimes in that break, I will come up with a solution to my problem, or even just an idea that leads to a solution. This might happen when I’m heading up for bed, or when I’m taking a bath; honestly, usually at the most inconvenient time when I don’t have a pen and paper to write down my thoughts.

I also notice that if I sleep on my problem or issue, I’ll sometimes have ideas that come to me in the morning. Even just to wake up to a brand new day is comforting and gives me hope that a solution will soon be forthcoming. (Do you remember how your parents or grandparents used to say, go to sleep and everything will look better in the morning?) Sometimes that’s not always true, but a good night’s sleep does wonders for the mind and the body.

I find today, the ease of technology makes us lazy. Instead of thinking up original thoughts, it’s so much easier to go online and research subjects you want to know more about. I remember spending hours in the library, browsing book after book to (hopefully) find the information I was looking for. Now, you can find it at the click of a few buttons. You have to be careful though to make sure the information you find online is accurate. It’s sometimes hard to tell what’s real and what isn’t. (Have you seen the things AI can do?)

I think listening to your gut is something you get better at over time. Intuition is something that should be practiced every day, in every situation that you encounter. I think wisdom too, while being something that grows over time also increases the more you think, act wisely and intelligently, and use common sense. I think if you’re unsure about something or feel doubt in a situation, you should sit on it and give it time. After awhile, you will notice you will gravitate towards a certain direction that just “feels right”. You may not be able to explain how you know it’s the right decision, but you should trust it, because if you can’t trust yourself, who can you trust?

Thanks for reading!

Sandra