Releasing Limitations on Your Loved Ones

When I was younger, I used to be far more judgemental than I am today. I’d like to believe that aging and experience have enlightened me somewhat, or at least made me a bit more pliable.

Looking back, I remember I would sometimes feel embarrassed for people, but not in any sense of appropriateness…more like I was embarrassed for them because I felt they embarrassed me by their actions or by who they were. Of course I never ever said anything because I knew, even when I was younger that this was not a nice thought to have. (But inside, I would be cringing by whatever they did).

Looking back, I realize this comes from being critical of the people I was judging. It’s like when you tell someone to stand straight and speak up when talking in public. You already know they don’t do those things well, so you remind them so they don’t “mess up”.

I don’t really know when I changed my thought patterns (maybe it came when I had kids, because I know I changed when I had kids), but now I allow people to be who they are and do the things they want. (Wow, that makes me sound like a controller, but I really wasn’t). All of these thoughts were just swirling around in my head and I always kept them to myself.

Maybe it stems from the type of person I am - I am a Type A personality; I sometimes have OCD over certain things and I would rather do things on my own because I know they will hold up to my own standards, and I won’t hold people accountable for not meeting them.

Whatever the case, I think it takes life experience and time for each of us to mature to a point where we stop judging, criticizing and blaming others for things we perceive they ought to change. They are most likely not even aware of the thing you detest or dislike about them, and it does really take maturity to take people for who and what they are, flaws and all.

Sandra