Getting Help When You Need It
We, as human beings can be very stubborn. We don’t want to admit defeat and just give up. I know that’s how I feel. Being an Aries however, I can admit that I’m very stubborn. I will keep going, even if I know that the end result is hopeless. The crazy thing is, if I keep at it long enough, I either push through and get the win, or I think of another way of doing the task at hand so that I can succeed.
I want to let everyone know that if this happens to you too, GREAT! If not, it’s ok and YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE. If you tried at something and gave it your best shot, and still didn’t succeed, IT’S OK. You are not alone, trust me.
I feel like, in these instances, it’s harder to ask other people to help you. At the same time, it shows preserverence; you stuck with something, or attempted to do something and it just so happens it didn’t work out. Now is the time to get other people to help. I know it’s hard to ask. Trust me, I’ve been there.
Asking for help may sometimes feel like being defeated, or that you gave up. OR, it’s admitting that we, as human beings have failures and frailities. This is where that phrase comes in: “We’re only human after all”. People are different. Each of us is made to do something in this life that not any other human can do. That might be changing the world in a big way, like donating to important charities, or working in government and changing the laws. Or, it might mean raising your kids to be kind people. Every act of kindness we put out into the world makes our world a better place.
Someone helping us out is just that - an act of kindness. We are most likely to ask someone close to us for help; a spouse, parent, or friend. I do notice that (generally), older people are more likely to ask for help than someone younger. Perhaps this comes from getting wiser over the years - we learn the limits of our capabilities. For instance, when I’m at the grocery store, my husband always gets asked to reach for things on the high shelves because he is 6’ 2". I’m only 5’5” , but damned if I’ll ever ask for help. I’ll climb those shelves before I ask anyone. That, or I’ll get a stick-like object to pull whatever I’m reaching for closer so I CAN reach it. (Stubborn Aries).
Sometimes you will run into instances where someone cannot always help. It might suck, but at least you were brave enough to ask. Maybe that’s why we’re scared to ask in the first place. We’re afraid of being turned down. The thing is, you won’t know until you’ve tried.
There are different instances when you might need help. For example, you might need a friend to just sit and listen to you. You don’t need them to necessarily do anything, other than just listen. Sometimes we need financial help. That one is probably the hardest, because money makes the world go ‘round in our society and people either have too much (making them extremely unhappy or unsatisfied) or not enough, with stress as the main result.
Another instance is where you might be swamped with your business or even chores around the house. Business is easy, if you can afford it. When you start to feel frazzled and you are just taking on too much, it’s time to start outsourcing. By this, I mean hiring extra help. Get someone else to do the menial tasks while you do the thing that grows your business. When it comes to chores, sometime I feel like it’s just easier (and faster) to do it myself. I used to feel like if you wanted something done right, you just had to do it yourself. (Maybe that’s something that came from my Dad’s mentality, and that’s where I learned it). I ended up getting super frustrated when I asked someone to do something for me and they didn’t do it the way I wanted or the way I would do it.
I think that is just another learning experience. When you have kids, or if you want to live with someone, or be in a relationship, you really need to check your expectations. When I was in my early twenties, (before kids), I told myself that I would never let my kids do certain things. I would never let them misbehave, eat McDonalds, or play on electronics all the time. Well, the expectation is VERY far from the reality. It’s kind of the same thing with keeping the house clean - I might clean it, and it just gets dirty again. You could either get really upset and frustrated at it, or, you could ASK FOR HELP. I get plenty of resistance from my kiddo, but my husband is usually pretty helpful.
When I had my daughter, there came a time that I was nursing her and I had to give my husband directions to cook supper. (I love to cook, and it seems to just come naturally for me. I know what spices should be combined, and what ones shouldn’t and I know what tastes good. Needless to say, my husband cannot cook, and so I was giving him directions to make dinner this one evening. From this cooking experience, I learned that yes, it is difficult to direct someone to do something, especially if they’ve never done it before. But…the offer of help was there. Who was I to judge, condemn or criticize, even if only in my head? Does it really matter that someone does something differently than you do if the end result is the same. (The end result here being that we were all fed). It’s similar to the interactions between us and our kids. I don’t do the same things with them as my husband does, but that’s a good thing. We need those differences in our lives, otherwise, everything would be boring and mundane. If I didn’t get help watching the kids, I would probably be a crazed individual and I would not be writing this blog right now!
The result is that it is OK to ask for help. You might not like it. You might feel bad about it. That’s ok. Chalk it up to personal growth and know that you can’t do everything on your own. You would likely be very lonely and sometimes, the people in your life need to know that you need them too. Take it with a grain of salt, and try to pay the kindness forward. 💜
xoxo
SAN
