Why I Keep a Journal
Hey everyone! So I wanted to talk a little bit about exactly why I keep a journal. I first started writing in a journal when I was nine. That was when I actually got my first journal from my parents. It was a tiny little thing that was more a keepsake than anything. But I wrote in it. Mind you, the journals I kept when I was younger were written in very sporadically. I could go for weeks, even months and forget about it. I think I started writing a lot about boys in my late teens and early twenties. Once I started getting into longer term relationships, I wrote about the stress I was under and how interactions with people made me feel. I was still pretty forgetful and it wasn't a constant thing. I think it was my early thirties that I realized how essential my journal was to my daily living. It was the thing I poured out my emotions to when no once else wanted to listen.
Now, after 30 years of starting my very first journal, I have more than 50 journals in a big rubbermaid container in my basement, filled with thoughts, feelings, emotions and day to day events. I keep them because it’s one of my legacies to my kids. All the embarrassing, terrible, crazy moments I wrote about won’t matter to me when I’m dead. It may make my kids cringe a bit though. Hehehe…
My very first journal, smaller than a 5x7 picture.
So to get into the things that I’m finally realizing today, I’m going to write a list of all my reasons and then spend some time talking about each of them. I will occasionally throw in some quotes from Karen Marie Morning (The Fever Series) which happen to be my all-time favorite books ever!
Here we go:
My journal is the thing that listens to me when no one else wants to, cares or is too busy.
Helps me to work through my emotions
Lets me organize my thoughts
Future planning
Penmanship doesn’t really matter; I can write whatever I want, however I want without feeling judged
Detailing special events
Detailing the mundane day-to-day events that we forget about in the grand scheme of things.
My very first and second journal. The larger journal had scented pages!
So, when I say that I can write things in my journal so no one has to listen to me is kind of true. When I was younger, I had a lot of heartache and hard decisions, and I had a few good friends that I would constantly talk to about it. After awhile, I think I drained the relationships by talking about all the bad things that were happening to me all the time. (Remember, negativity breeds more of the same, so I was wallowing in self doubt, pity remorse, you name it). In the end, I found out some bad things were happening to one of my friends as well; the problem is, she just never told me. I wasn't in a position to pay attention because I was too busy complaining about what was happening to me. So, in the end, I learned from my mistake and started journaling all the time. Unfortunately, the friendship went up in smoke and that was that; you live, you learn. Since then, I try to work things out for myself or give myself time to think on something before I speak. It also helps to have helpful, well-balanced people in your life who want to be there to support you. But, I really try to write out how I’m feeling in my journal first and give myself time to reflect on it before burdening someone else with my issues. I find that a lot of times, my problems are usually worked out by the words I write. I reread what I write a lot, and it helps me to just let go of the negativity and be a happier person. (I’m also a firm believer in gratitude and reaping what you sow, but I will have another blog on Gratitude coming later this year).
Photo from my Peter Pauper Press Journal Collection on Youtube
Writing in my journal also helps me to work through my emotions. I’ve gone through a few deaths in my family, a few births, and some abuse. I’ve had fights with friends, family, and periods of depression and anxiety. (I’ve always thought these periods of depression were from triggers like the things I listed previously, because normally, I’m a really happy person). So when I have a trigger in my life where I experience intense emotion (good or bad), it makes me feel almost relieved to pour the thoughts into my journal. For any mother who has experienced vaginal birth, it is probably the most intense thing we’ll go through in our life time. (Other than our own birth of course, but thankfully we don’t remember that) LOL. The emotions prior to and right after delivery are very intense, and I always wrote in my journal right after birth when I was settled in. Those are the things that interest me when reading back. (Oh yes, I’ve read all of my old journals many times over). Writing helps me overcome feelings of resentment, pain and anger without actually voicing those thoughts and hurting anyone. Usually, those we love the most have to deal with the worst part of us because they are there for us all the time.
Writing also allows me to organize my thoughts. A lot of times, before we drive to Red Deer, I will talk about the things I have to do. I’ll write my packing list for me, the dogs and kids and I’ll write about all the things I want or need to do while I’m there. Sometimes I’ll also write about how I feel about it, predictions for the trip, or how I’m currently feeling. I have a planner (or 10!) but I like to write these things in my journal and then I write specific things in my planner to better plan and prepare. Sometimes this writing helps me prepare what is most important, or what I need to do first so I can maintain organization in my head and also my planner. When my Dad passed away in 2006, I poured pages of grief into my journal. I was also in charge of his estate, and at 24 years old, I had no idea what to do, what to start with or how to plan anything. Writing out my thoughts helped to ground me and find out what needed to get done first. In that situation, I also had to reach out to people who could help me because it was a lot of work.
“One of the primary tenets of the course was that highly successful leaders kept journals, morning and night in order to stay tightly focused on their goals”.
Karen Marie Moning (Fever Series)
I tend to future plan in my journal as well, kind of the same as organizing my thoughts really. I love to write packing lists in my journal instead of my bullet journal (mostly to save space in my Bujo) and I’m not afraid to highlight in it like crazy. I like writing out dreams for the future, sometimes impossible dreams and imagining what my future life will look like.
My penmanship in my journal is only as neat as how I felt like writing that day. LOL. Sometimes when reading back, I wonder why I wrote something because it won’t make sense. That sometimes happens when I’m really emotional, or writing really fast because I have a lot to say. At the same time, I really don’t care how it looks or how bad my writing is, because I’m not handing it in for marks or to be edited. (But, I did always imagine I could write a memoir or book from all the info that’s in my journals). Now that would be a very long book. LOL.
I will sometimes use my journal to plan for events, like birthdays or dinners. I know that this is something most people would do in their planner, but a few years ago, I didn't have the same planner system that I use today. Also, as I said earlier, if I know I’ll be making a mess, I’d rather leave it in my journal. When I had my babies, the first few weeks flew by and I wouldn’t remember a thing post partum without my trusty journal. Both times after delivery, I would take the time to write the details out so I wouldn’t forget a single thing, pain included. The same thing goes for when I brought baby home. That first week is a vast nothingness in memory, but I made sure to write down what I ate, when I slept, etc…
I will also detail events like Christmas and write out all the gifts everyone received, as a memory of that year. I will also write about how I felt, who attended the event, and why people cancelled. Basically all the details are something I write about, which leads me into my last topic.
You know how the day-to-day things are usually forgotten in the vast business of our lives? That’s sometimes what I write about. Not all the time though, but if I’m feeling up to it and my hand is not too sore, I will. Lately, the last year or so I’ve been experiencing pain and numbness in my right hand and I can’t feel anything up to my elbow. (My future writing prospects don’t look too good). LOL. This only happens sometimes, but my writing sessions are limited. For instance, today, I wrote this morning, talking about how productive I was last night and when my kiddo’s went to bed. I’ll write down funny things my son says and also things that make me angry or annoyed. In the morning, I wrote about what I wanted to do, plans for the day and general thoughts on how I felt about this particular time of year. (Check out my blog topic on “The Winter Blues”). Basically anything that is on my mind is what I will write about.
“…Alina’s journal was shaping what and how I chose to write in my own: about everything, and in great detail. Hindsight was twenty-twenty and you never knew what clues someone else might be able to pick up on in your life that you were blinded to by living it.”
Karen Marie Morning (Fever Series)
I hope that this topic helped you in some way. From what I understand, there are people who want to journal but don’t know what to write about, or they don’t have time. Journaling doesn’t have to be a big production. You could turn it into a line a day, or even start off small with a word a day! Bring some positivity into your life! I think a paragraph a day is good to start and then you can see how it goes. There are also journal prompts you can find online for free that will help you get started. (I.e. How do you feel? Why do you feel that way?) That sounds pretty simple, but when was the last time you asked yourself how you feel at this very moment? We usually tend to check in when we feel a big emotion, like when we’re really happy or really sad. It’s helpful to also check in during the in-between moments because sometime those are the moments that count. 🥰
💜 SAN
