The Best Advice I’ve Ever Gotten

The best advice I’ve ever gotten my entire life was basically no advice at all. I was one of the quiet ones growing up…always watching, always listening. I picked up on a lot that way.

You know how kids say “I know"!”, and you know that they really don’t know. Well, I was one of those gen x kids who actually did know. I felt for some reason that I had an “in” to the ways of the world, almost like I would have these private conversations with the universe and I just knew things and understood things that other people didn't. Maybe it was because they didn’t listen closely enough.

Regardless, you know how there are really two kinds of people in this world: those who follow and those who rebel. I was definitely more of the rebellious type; less likely to think or believe the way most people would. No one ever really knew that though because I was such a quiet and introverted person.

In my experience, kids learn from their parents actions; not their words. So it seems to me that we all waste so much time talking about stuff and no one is really listening anyway. We need to spend more time focusing on good things in our life - setting healthy, lofty goals and basically just focusing on our self-care, our families, and ourselves. If we do the things we want our kids to do, then hopefully they’ll follow suit.

The day and age we live in now is far different from how a lot of us grew up however. Kids are learning through social media and that’s why the generations seem so different. They are not watching what their parents do, let alone listening to anything we tell them. They’re too busy with social media or online games.

Back to the two types of people: the followers and the rebels. In my opinion, the followers are the ones who watched their parents do bad things, and decided that they would smoke too. Since their parents smoked or drank, their kids had easy access to that stuff so it was easy to get into.

Now the same for the rebels. I would see my parents do these things, and I realized that they were bad. I hated the smell of cigarette smoke! My parents smoked in the house and I hated it so much! My parents would also party on the weekends and share cases of beer. The beer itself wasn't so much the issue - it was more of how people changed and acted when they drank it. I’m not going to lie, I enjoy having social drinks when I go out to karaoke now, but I vowed to never let it change me and I never have. I know my limit and I start drinking water when I feel like I’m running close to my limit.

One could argue that followers could be good. Maybe their parents were good role models and the kids picked up on that. But I would say that’s still following. The parents do, so the kids follow. The rebels however choose a few thoughts for themselves.

There’s also the scenario of one of my friends growing up. She was a good girl, until she rebelled. Her parents always told her to do this and do that, and she would listen. Until she learned to think for herself. She decided to explore some of the things that were labeled as “bad” and got into a little trouble.

You could say that is a way of learning as you grow up. People say you need to experiment to learn what not to do. In my case, I already knew I didn’t need to “learn a lesson”. My lesson was from watching other people make mistakes, and I made sure to stick to my guns. I never fell for peer pressure or intimidation. I knew what I wanted, and I stuck to what I believed in. Even in adulthood, when people talk down about you or try to make you feel bad about yourself, just know that it really comes from how they feel about themselves. We all view the world through our own personal lens and in doing so, are severely limited.

Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.

- Eleanor Roosevelt

Take this quote with a grain of salt, because every person does every one of these things. It’s just we all do it on a different scale. We’re human and definately not perfect. This is why we all have a different view point, even when discussing ideas. We have different life experiences and different backgrounds. Some of us are followers and some of us are leaders. If we’re smart, we learn this as we grow and we change our habits to reflect better values and to think for ourselves.

In the end, the main lesson I learned from watching and listening to other people is to think for yourself and always try to be better than the person you were yesterday. Use the end of each day to reflect on your actions and ask yourself if that’s the person you really truly want to be.

Much love ❤️

Sandra