Hello! Welcome! Today, we are talking about a type of journaling called Shadow Work. You may be unfamiliar with this term; it is relatively a new term for myself as well. So a little background first: if you have been a long time reader of mine, you know that I am a huge advocate of journaling. I believe it’s good for the soul, the mind, and your overall well-being. Journaling helps you plan for the future and write out feelings and thoughts that you would normally never tell another individual. It’s a safe space where there are no judgments on what you write or how you write it. The second thing is that you may recall my previous blog on Trauma and Triggers. You can read it here: https://sandradahl.ca/journaling/https/sandradahlca/blog-page-url/https/sandradahlca/blog-page-2. This piece is a follow up to that. Although that blog was very personal to me and I basically relived every traumatic moment that happened in my life, this blog is more general in nature and is truly an individual experience. My Shadow Work or Shadow Journal will be different than anyone else’s.
As you start reading this, you may think that this stems from my Spiritual journey. Although there is a lot of journaling that is involved in my personal spiritual journey, and for me, it’s more about finding and believing in my own personal powers, Shadow Work is about healing the soul. The “shadow” comes from an imbalance between the conscious ego and the unconsciousness. It is the irrational and unknown side of your personality. You will see these traits emerge when faced with certain scenarios in your life, or in your relationships.
Everyone experiences negative situations in life, and these can lead to negative emotions. Whether the situations are traumatic or not, everyone reacts in a different way. Remember that we can not always change the outcomes of events or situations, but we can control how we react to them. It’s difficult to refrain from acting when we’re scared or hurt or angry. It is how we deal with these emotions and how we treat other people in the midst of these emotions that prove we need to work on our “shadow” or “dark side” of our personality. The good thing is, there are ways to improve and grow and learn.
We are human, which means we are social animals. We start learning from birth at a very fast rate. Our biggest form of learning is from watching our parents, and other people in our life. We see how our parents treat each other and others and we treat people the same way. Trust me, respect goes a long way in improving your relationships. We can think of babies and children as these “sponges”, constantly soaking up new information about their surroundings. As we grow and collect our own experiences, we change. Babies start out completely innocent. We learn bad behaviours and traits from people. People are not born “bad”.
Even if you have never gone though anything traumatic in your life, or you don’t have a guilty conscience, and/or you consider yourself a “good” person, you still have a shadow. Perhaps when you were younger, you were bullied in some respect. I remember these little kids throwing mud at me when I was in Grade 3. Every day it happened, and I felt helpless, like there was nothing that I could do about it. I would just run away and never stand up for myself. I was in Grade three, and I was the victim of that mud throwing and I still remember it to this day. That says something. That event is part of my shadow. I experienced some negative emotion from that - perhaps fear, anger, humiliation, and probably more that I can’t name at this moment.
Some people believe going to a therapist is the solution. A combination of therapy and journaling may work for you. I actually have had two negative interactions with therapists in my past. If you feel like a therapist would be better suited for your needs, I suggest doing your research ahead of time. There are online therapy companies now where you can match up to your perfect therapist. Personally, cost was always an issue. I always had to find therapy within the healthcare system since I could not afford private therapy, and this made it hard to choose - I was given whoever was available at the time. Another issue may be that you are not ready to open up to a stranger. You might feel like they will judge you because no matter what confidentiality agreement they sign or no matter how professional they are, they are still human with human traits. Of course they have thoughts that they might not tell you. However, it is their job to help you, so perhaps that should be ruled out as a factor.
This is why I think shadow work is important. It can be a first step into your therapy journey. This is especially important if you don’t feel comfortable opening up to someone that doesn't know you. Shadow work comes in many forms - you could start with free form journaling. The issue is that a lot of people don't know where to start. That’s why journaling prompts are amazing for this. A great book that I currently have and recommend is called, “Shadow Work” published by Manifest Hero and available from Amazon. (Check out the tool bar at the bottom of this blog to access it through my affiliate system!) Simply answering the prompts in this book will give you amazing insights as to why you do the things you do. You will notice that you start to question everything, and that’s not a bad thing. It really helps to rewire your brain to start thinking in a more positive way. This leads to changing your actions and behaviours. Nothing will change or improve if you don’t start; you only have the ability and potential to get better and be a better form of yourself.
Sandra ❤️
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