Hello! Welcome to this week’s blog! Today, I want to talk about why we need both adult time (if you’re a parent or a caregiver), and quiet time. I’m writing this from the perspective of being a parent of three children, but needing quiet time can be for anyone. You don’t need to have children to require time out. Maybe you have a hectic work life full of meetings, a large family or a large circle of friends that always want to hang out. Regardless, we’ll talk about the feelings we may have as parents regarding this issue, as well as things you can do to get that time you need to recharge.
Firstly, I can’t tell you how much parent guilt I feel even thinking about wanting alone time. (I.e. needing time away from my kids). Does it make me a horrible person or a horrible parent for wanting time away from my kids? Sometimes I feel so much guilt that I end up not enjoying my alone activity at all. This is NOT healthy - not a healthy emotion, and definitely doesn't help my mental or physical health either.
We have friends that both work. They have two kids, and I don’t know how much time they spend alone, but we have asked them to go for a double date and they always refuse. They said that they would rather spend time with their kids to do family things instead of going on friend dates. Now I don’t know if they go on other friend dates, and maybe that was just their excuse so they wouldn't have to hang out with us, but I think kids need time away from their parents (outside of school) and parents need time away from their kids (outside of work). I believe that you should find a healthy balance.
For me personally, as an empath, I require quiet time. When I spend too much time in loud environments, I literally get a headache and my head starts to spin. I have to walk away from the noise and the commotion that is three kids together in a room. I need that quiet time to clear my head and to recharge. (Especially when my kids start fighting).
So why is having adult time important? Well, when you have kids, you discuss kid stuff. You play with your kids - there is a distinguished line here; you are the parent, and they look up to you for assistance, help and love.
When you have adult time, you enjoy shared interests and hobbies, and sometimes do things only adults can do. (In our case, go to karaoke)! You can discuss different topics that are adult-related only, and can be yourself. Remember, you’re still a parent, but that is only one of your roles. A lot of times as a parent, the “me” part of you gets forgotten. Having alone time with other adults helps you to remember that you are still important and you don’t get lost in your parent role. The things you love and enjoy make you, you, and you need to celebrate that when you can.
As far as quiet time, I know that I can recharge in that space. I use my quiet time for work, since my kids are still small. I do things for myself, like read, work on my hobbies, personal development, or my spiritual work. This is pretty much the only time that I can focus on anything.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this week’s blog and I hope you’ll join me next time!
💜 Sandra
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