Changing Perspectives

Almost every time I have a conversation with someone who talks about something negative, I find myself arguing the case; playing Devil’s Advocate. Ask my mother - she always tells me that I lack compassion, because I never feel sorry for her situation. I find myself doing the same thing when my husband is sick, since he acts like he’s dying when he has a simple cold. I try to sympathize, I truly do, but I have changed my perspectives on certain things. I don’t know exactly how or when I changed, but I can tell you why.

A lot of it has to do with having kids and getting older, and basically going through things in your life. Having kids makes you realize that there are more important things in life than your life. Once you have kids, you don’t come first anymore, and that’s not a bad thing. Sure, it’s hard to accept at first, but we adapt actually quite easily and quickly, faster than one would think.

Having and raising kids is actually quite difficult and stressful. So why then does most of the world’s population procreate? Well, it’s mostly biological. Unconsciously, we can’t imagine dying and simply not being here and living our lives anymore; having a child ensures that we live on in some capacity. I remember right before I became pregnant with my first son. My circumstances certainly weren’t right or healthy to have a baby, and yet my mind was screaming that I needed to have a baby NOW. The universe was leaving me signs all over the place - all these pregnant people kept showing up in my life and all I could see was baby everything. Then all of a sudden I was pregnant and it was scary as hell. But, as with all things, that too passed and I now have a very funny and intelligent young man in my life who keeps surprising me with his knowledge and questions.

Getting older - inside, I swear I’m still sixteen. Really. I’m OBSESSED with the Mermaze Mermaids that my daughter keeps getting. I wish they had toys like that when I actually was younger. I have things in my life (like a house, bills, a family, etc…) that require responsibility, but inside, I gush about things I did in my teens and twenties. I try not to act my age because life is short, and I’m scared of dying and leaving my kids alone. Being silly and weird is what life is all about and keeps you young at heart.

The fun thing about getting older is you no longer have the same insecurities that you did when you were a teenager. You learn to stop caring about what other people think some point along the journey, and let me tell you how freeing that is. The reason you stop caring is because as an adult with mega responsibilities, you usually have too much stuff going on in your own life to pay much attention.

Also, you learn somewhere along the way that when people are mean to you, judgemental or rude, it’s because there’s some insecurity inside themselves that they don’t recognize yet. (Or maybe they do, but they haven’t figured out how to accept it). So we, as adults, recognize that and move on, knowing that what they said doesn’t really reflect anything about us, it reflects what’s going on in their lives.

Getting older means you gain more wisdom with each passing year. It also means you realize that any mistake you make is one step closer to success. Those dips in the road allow you to narrow down what’s important out of life, and to learn to let go when things don’t necessarily work out the first time. Or, on the flip side, you might decide to dig your teeth in deeper and not give up without a fight. Either way, you have gained wisdom to keep keeping on.

Life experiences will also change your perspective on life. You hear of stories where people have near death experiences, and then all of a sudden, they believe in God. Or, you might go through a traumatic situation and learn to not take anything for granted and show gratitude for anything good that comes your way.

I have learned that life isn’t so black and white. In my youth, I was absolutely athiest. I went to school and learned about evolution. On the other hand, I believe that there are no such things as coincidences. Call it what you will, but I believe that the Universe watches out for us and gives each of us magic. It’s up to us to figure out how to use that magic and whether we use it for good or bad. It’s amazing what we can manifest when you truly put our energy into it. Some people live in black and white their entire life and don’t realize what they’re missing out on.

My perspective has changed on the challenges that I come across in life. In the beginning, when something bad happened to me, I was very emotional and learned to react instead of being proactive. While you cannot control every situation that comes your way, there are certain things you can do to prepare. For instance, having a will, or having an emergency savings is crucial at times. Now, when something bad happens, I still process the emotions and let myself have that cry. However, I look at it as a learning opportunity or realize that the Universe is giving me this challenge to prepare for the next one. It’s all in the reaction that you have, even though the outcome might be the same.

So the no compassion thing, well, I see it as looking at circumstances in a more positive light. When I come across individuals who are always negative about everything, I believe it’s because they are manifesting those things by being negative. The narrative will change once your perspective on life changes.

💜 SAN