If I Knew Then What I Know Now

If I knew then what I know now, would I have done things differently? How many times have we asked ourselves this question? Does it honestly even matter? People say “live with no regrets”. Regret implies that you would go back and do things differently, and I’m pretty sure everyone feels regret at some point in their life. It’s hard not to - we’re all human after all, and regret is simply one more emotion that the human psyche is wired for. We are very emotional beings (unless of course you’re a psychopath), and these feelings are all 100% completely natural. The difference is whether you wallow in self pity over your regret, or learn from the past and move on.

Lately, I have been thinking about this question, and I’ve really gone in depth to how I would answer. First, of course I would do things differently. I made so many mistakes when I was younger (and yes, I know, that’s what helps us learn). But could you imagine, if you made every smart decision that you possibly could have early in life, how much more ahead you would be today? The first thing that comes to mind is how I would deal with money. I would have started saving far sooner, that’s for sure. I would have set up some sort of budget system like I use now and actually be smart with money and credit cards. I would also have attended all my classes, and studied my ass off in university. I realize today that many people don’t even get the opportunity to go to post secondary, and here I was, attending and just taking it all for granted. I would have definitely ordered Franklin Planner binders (lol) and started planning and mapping out my life a lot earlier. I would have been a lot more organized, efficient and effective in my dealings.

Then I think about all the things that would change in the future if I had gone back and changed things in the past. Maybe my kids would be different, maybe I would have had kids earlier. (That I don’t know, but the thought of not having my children specifically scares me to the point that I don’t even want to think about it). I might be doing something different for work too. Honestly, any number of things could be different today and I could speculate about this all day.

In the end, it all comes down to who you are. Every single thing that has happened to you in the past makes you who you are today. If bad things happened to you, maybe you are a stronger person today. Overcoming adversity and life’s challenges successfully creates layers (like an onion!) in your personality. It gives you depth and wisdom, kindness and compassion.

Even though I would have done things differently if I had the tools that I have now, I wouldn’t have wanted things to change. I like the person who I am today, and I like the things I’m currently doing with my life. I’ve gone through many hardships and shed countless tears along the way, but I feel like it’s made me better. I understand myself better for having gone through and overcoming those obstacles. What makes this even better is the growth I’ve gone through in re-living those past experience through shadow work. I went through some trauma in my life, and I used shadow work to pull myself through and ask for forgiveness. (Not forgiveness from anyone else, but from myself). I find myself no longer living in the past, or thinking about tough situations that I’ve been through because I moved on. I healed from the trauma and I feel free to continue on with my life.

What’s your answer to this question? What are some of the things you would have done differently?

Thanks for reading and we’ll see you next week!

💛 Sandra