Making Yourself a Priority As a Parent

If you’re a parent, you know how everything changed as soon as your first little person entered this world. All of a sudden, you became responsible for providing for them, and ensuring they grow up and become a good person. It’s a lot of responsibility - and it never goes away. You always feel like you need to do things for them and (maybe not always provide), but you will be there in a pinch if they ever need you. Sound familiar?

At the time of writing, my kiddos are still young - they range in age from 9 years old to 11 months old. In my head, I thought, well why not have more? If I did the first, second, third…, I can do it again, and things (sort of) don’t change. All I know for sure is having kids is the most difficult thing I’ve ever done. I can’t exactly say its the most selfless thing I’ve done. Some people believe it’s selfish to have children in today’s “over-populated” world, where we are slowly deteriorating the Earth and leaving them to a desolate future. Other people think that it’s selfless because once you have them, you devote your world to them, and literally nothing is about you anymore. (Some people actually think it’s selfish to not have children because then you have more time and money for yourself). Regardless of what other people think, having kids is a tough business, and I’m not just talking about the pregnancy or the birth.

Kids cost money (especially if you’re saving up for their tuition). Money is the top subject that’s fought over the most in relationships. How it’s spent, where it’s spent, etc… You could go on and on. In our society where credit and money seem to make the world go round, it becomes the one thing on everybody’s mind, and if you don’t have enough of it, it can make life really tough and stressful.

When it comes to having time for yourself, sometimes it involves having money, and sometimes it doesn't. For example, if you have a book from the library, and you want to spend some time reading, that’s one thing. There are families out there who struggle to afford a library card and don’t have access to free resources.

Personally, I’m struggling with the idea of knowing that it’s important to make sure my cup is full so I have the energy to support others, but just not having the time to do so. At times, everything feels like a fight or a struggle. If I get ready to go out to karaoke to have some adult time, I’m always rushing last minute because I spent the entire night with my kids - making sure they got what they needed, and giving them baths. Then I have ten minutes at the end of the night to get ready. If, for example, I try to study with my son and help him do his homework/reading, he has a bad day and then it’s a struggle to get him to focus or pay attention on the task at hand.

For parents, I feel like we have this tug-of-war pulling us in opposite directions. We know we need self care and alone time, but then you feel guilty for wanting it. It seems there’s always something more you can do for your kids, so you do that instead. My “allocated” me time (reading) turns into kid time, and at the end of it, I’m too exhausted to have that shower or paint my nails or whatever it is I wanted to do. It’s ok if you do this a few times, but after always doing it, you get burned out. Then you realize something has got to give.

I realized this when I was doing my goal planning for 2024. There’s only so much time in the day. We have 24 hours and a lot of that is spent working and sleeping. We usually say the remaining should be dedicated to the things we hold most important in our lives, and that usually ends up being our families.

In an attempt to make myself a priority, I make sure to wake up early every day to have some alone time. If I decide to use that time for my business, that’s my problem, but at least I get that quiet time. (I know my kids, and they love their sleep)! The other way is when I do have a shower or a bath or something, I make sure to lock the door and I don’t let my kids follow me in. I tried that a few times, and they don’t stop talking!

Let me know if you have discovered ways to make yourself a priority! Thanks for reading and we’ll see you next time!

Sandra