The Benefit of Positive Affirmations for Children
When you do a good job at something, and it’s recognized with praise, it makes you feel good. But should praise only be given when something has been done? Everything we say and do has consequences, good and bad. Perhaps we need to be more purposeful in our praise, especially to children.
I have not yet talked about affirmations and the benefits they bring. As for children, I think it’s something that we should do as often as we can. Have you ever noticed that when you tell your kids they’re being bad or that they’ve done something wrong, their whole disposition changes; either they turn moody, or they get sad. What if we were to turn that around and instead of making them feel bad about their mistake (after all, they’re just children, and they are learning), we should get to the bottom of why. Wording is critical when speaking with children.
For example, if your child lies about something, instead of saying “You’re a liar!”, or, “You’re lying!”, get to the root of it and find out why. Maybe they’re embarrassed about something and the environment you’ve created is not safe for them to share why they’re not telling the truth. Now they are scared about sharing because they feel you’ll either judge them or criticize them.
The reason why children act out with parents more than anyone else is because they feel safest with you. They can show their true selves with you, hence the temper tantrums and the violent outbursts. All they really need is a warm cozy hug and love from you. They don’t need to be harassed or given a big lecture. All they really need is love and understanding.
So in the previous example, if you call your child a liar all the time, they may very well grow up to understand that they’re good at lying, and they’ll do it all the time. However, if you change the script and tell them that they’re a wonderful person and a beautiful soul, they’ll grow up believing that instead.
Simply, words have power. If you sincerely tell someone they’re great every day, they will grow up believing it. Instead of negatively conditioning our kids, lets do it in a positive fashion. Let’s leave them with positive and kind words.
For my kids, I tell them how smart they are every day and how beautiful they are. I don’t mean looks either (even though I’m biased because I think my kids are the cutest!). I mean that they have a beautiful soul and personality, and the potential for greatness.
We talk about changing the script for ourselves (instead of negative self talk, we use affirmations to build ourselves up and take our power back). So why aren’t we doing that for our kids as well? They are at the prime age of learning and growing, and this is the perfect time to make them feel worthy and get rid of that negative self-doubt we all experience.
Here are some examples of what you can say to your kids. Remember, you don’t need to just praise for a job well done; these words can (and should) be said all the time, freely and with love!
You are important and special
I am proud of you
You have been so kind today
I’m so happy you were polite
You are amazing
You are so smart and intelligent
I love when you share things with me
I love your hugs
I love how big your imagination is
You make me so proud
You are so brave
You are a good person
You worked so hard today
You have the best ideas
I love you
You are loved by so many people
These are just a few things you can say to your kids, but trust me, it will make a world of difference! Let’s give our kids their best fighting chance in life!
xoxo! Sandra
