Don’t Give Away Your Power: The Story Of An Empath

I don’t really know when I discovered I was an empath, but it wasn’t until fairly recently that I started learning more about it. By no means am I an expert; I only know what I’ve personally experienced and I can tell you how it feels, and how my energy is affected.

So as you know, everyone has (and creates energy). Our bodies give off heat (which is a form of energy). Our brains are constantly working (even when we’re sleeping), which means millions of neurons are constantly at work at all times. This energy creates an aura, or an energy field around your body. When people are nervous, happy, anxious, excited, afraid or angry, the atoms around your body vibrate at a higher frequency than if you were relaxed and calm.

As an empath, I can sense this energy. I think of it in terms of auras. (As hard as I try, I still can’t see visible colour spectrums, but I can feel the strength of the energy, or whether it’s positive or negative energy surrounding a person). You may call it a sensitivity, a gut feeling or intuition, but whatever it is, I can actually sometimes even feel a particular emotion directed at me or at some other person as well.

When I first discovered this, I thought it was natural (which it is), but I also thought that everyone had this ability. It hasn’t been until quite recently into my spiritual journey that I realized this phenomenon is actually more rare than I thought.

You may hear the terms empath and narcissist used together quite frequently. I’ve heard it said that you are either one or the other, but I don’t believe that. There are always shades of grey, and many in-betweens, and some people are neither. An empath is defined as a person who feels more empathetic than an average human, and a narcissist is defined as an actual disorder wherein the person has an unreasonable sense of their own importance. (In other words, they may lack the ability to understand or care about anyone else’s feelings, making them a natural “enemy” of the empath).

Generally, an empath “feels” more than an average human being. They tend to be more sensitive which helps them pick up on the feelings of others more easily. Empaths also get a bad reputation for being too sensitive. This means that they might get hurt more easily, can’t handle criticism very well or just be a more emotional person. I can’t really say for sure, but I know as a child, I was very emotional. It physically pains my heart to this day to see something really beautiful - something as simple as a sunset or sunrise can make me cry.

I learned early on to emotionally guard myself. As I faced the challenges life has to offer, and as I came into contact with people who weren’t very nice, I learned to guard my heart and protect myself. (I think we all learn this as adults; it’s what people call wisdom). When someone says something mean to you, it may be directed towards you (out of anger or resentment), but it is how the person feels about themselves internally. A lot of what we criticize is actually a reflection of our internal hearts and what we don’t like about ourselves. As an adult, you may not learn this until much later, but you should never take things personally (especially when strangers say mean things to you).

I’ve learned to judge a person’s true feelings more by their energy output rather than by the things they say, because as we all know, people can try to hide the way they feel. This is usually by saying things that aren’t true, or by not saying what’s on their mind.

Empaths need to protect their energy. I have come into a few circumstances where after interacting with an individual (or a group), I leave, feeling emotionally drained. It’s kind of a physical tired feeling, but more of an energy void, like a vacuum. I call this feeling mental draining and I refer to those people I was in contact with, energy vampires.

Case in point - my son has ADHD, and is very high functioning, but does not have regulated emotion, like most children. I find it very exhausting having day-to-day conversations with him because my mental energy is just zapped by the end of the day. It’s a completely different feeling than being physically exhausted, but has a similar effect because my body feels lethargic after, and I usually develop a headache as well.

I learned that my mother is also an empath. It’s very interesting - again, I didn’t learn that until much later in life. However, I believe our empathic abilities are inherited, and span a wider range of gifts than simple “empathy”. I’m exploring my psychic abilities with divination. I use tools such as pendulums, tarot and oracle readings and journaling (I also am a huge advocate on shadow work). I’m currently reading about Human Design which I feel plays a large part in who I am and will help me to explore my gifts even further by helping me to understand my archetype and deconstruct my conditioning as a young person.

Thank you for reading and joining me on my journey! Here’s to many more insights on life, people and learning!

Love,

Sandra 🧡