Do You Control Your Thoughts, or Do Your Thoughts Control You?
You might wonder, how would your thoughts control you? Well, I can say that everyone has had this happen to them. It might not be a big deal, and you might not even have consciously thought about it, but it has happened to you. For example, you’re sitting at your desk at work, and it’s close to the end of the day. You might be getting hungry, but you continue working. After awhile, your stomach growls and you decide to go to the vending machine to grab a small snack before the end of the day. This is a minuscule example that doesn’t really affect you that much. However, your thoughts have controlled your actions.
Now let’s think on a bigger scale. It’s at the end of the day, same job, same place, but you have some type of health concern. You’re worried, obviously. You have a doctors appointment booked and you don’t know what to expect, or what the results will be. You might try googling your symptoms, and find things that you really didn't want to see, but then you get more involved and now you’re imagining scenarios where you’re dying and you have no idea who is going to look after your kids or love them as much as you do when you’re gone.
Now, this might sound completely insane, and some of you might be like “where did that come from”. I can guarantee you many people have had this same scenario run through their heads. Health concerns are scary, and are really big things to deal with. In comes the internet and our lovely searches, and it’s all down-hill from there.
Would you say you lost productivity because you let your thoughts control you? Absolutely! The first example was minor, but the second health example can take up many hours of the day, and sometimes that’s all you can think about.
Anxiety, worry, stress and mental issues can be very taxing on anyone’s life, day, productivity - you name it. I’m not talking about having a rough day here, I’m talking about debilitating illness. It’s only today that people are talking more and more about mental illness. It’s a problem that’s very individual and almost secretive. Mental illnesses can’t be seen, like physical symptoms can. (Although you can get physical symptoms from mental illnesses).
When you let your thoughts control you, and you imagine a bunch of different scenarios when a situation hasn’t even come to fruition yet, it seems pointless and a waste of time. (It is, but it’s very hard to control!) It’s not something you can just turn on and off without a bit of practice.
Here’s where being mindful comes in. You need to find techniques that work for you. (What works for one person may not work for someone else). I recommend trying out a few first and seeing how (and if) they help you.
Let’s talk about how you can start gaining control of your own thoughts!
Be Mindful
The best thing you can do is start keeping a journal. Write about your thoughts and how your day went. Maybe you didn’t get around to doing much, and that’s ok! Give yourself grace in your moments of need. Your body and mind will thank you later. If you’re not used to writing, start small. Start with a word a day - an emotion or verb. Something that can describe your day or how you felt. Then try a sentence.
Try writing at different times of the day. Maybe Morning Pages are a better fit for you. (This is a term coined for simply writing in the morning). You can pick as few or as many pages as you want here. Write about how you want your day to look, and what a productive day would look like to you. (That might mean getting out of bed and making it).
If you write in the evening, a reflection of your day is a great way to unwind in the evening.
You can write what you’re grateful for (Gratitude), you can write what you want out of life (Manifesting), or, you can write positive affirmations for yourself.
When you read back on this, you’re going to notice a pattern. There might be a particular way you’re feeling, and this is a great way to learn about yourself, to track how you’re doing on any given day. You will become more mindful and notice when you’re losing focus throughout the day, or when you need a pick-me-up, or even sleep for that matter. Just start to pay attention to yourself.
Be Intentional
Now it might make sense to start building a healthy habit or two. To begin, you could start by tracking it on a weekly or monthly basis. Just pick a couple, you don’t want to overwhelm yourself. Once you have established healthy goals, it’s something to be proud of. On the other hand, if you stop for a day, don’t give up! Keep on going! Just because you stopped for one day doesn't mean you have to quit. Just pick it back up the next day.
Once you start building healthy habits, maybe you want to build a routine. This is basically stacking a bunch of (healthy) habits together. For example, a morning routine may consist of:
Get up at 5am
Make bed
Drink a glass of water
Stretch
Take Medication
Plan out the day
Get to work!
They are simply a bunch of habits stacked together. The longer you do this routine, the more ingrained it will become, until it’s simply second nature and it becomes something you do every morning and you don’t even have to think about it.
3. Give yourself breaks
This could be meditating every day (it’s a great way to calm yourself and give your mind a break). It could mean allowing yourself tv or screen time as a reward for a day well-accomplished. Maybe you want to have some alone, quiet time, or you want to read a book for a couple of hours. Include self care time - things like having a hot shower for the simple joy of being in a hot shower (don’t worry about the water bill!), getting your nails or hair professionally done, taking a walk in nature, sitting or taking a nap when you need it. Again, pick what you need in that moment that feels like a break to you. Personally, when it’s late at night, and I’ve finished my work for the day, I love diving into a book for an hour to two before I go to bed. That’s my quiet break time, and I love it! Do what feels right for you, and schedule it into your day if you have to.
Arrange for other people to know what your goal is. Maybe they can help with positive reinforcement, babysit for you for a while, take some tasks off your list at work, or just be a listening ear. Letting other people know what you need or want isn't selfish - it’s good communication. Remember, you won’t get what you don’t ask for.
Thank you!
Sandra
